Tag Archive | faith

Providers

I am so thankful for the two providers in my life — God and my husband Alexander.

Last month, Alexander was switching jobs and he took a short break in between to catch up on some house projects. As a result, our budget for the month was a little tighter than normal, including our food budget. And that was totally fine! — we made do with a little less than normal and God, in His awesome power and authority, provided not only for all of our needs but also for some of our wants. This month, however, I have my full food budget back. As I was shopping on Tuesday, I realized just how excited and thankful I am to be able to afford the healthy, wholesome food with which we stock our fridge and pantry. My hard-working husband tirelessly, steadfastly earns the money I need to simply buy groceries — what a precious gift and sacrifice that is.

To thank him for being my provider, I wanted to get him some bacon or sausage to go with the pancakes we were having for supper. That being said, I typically try to keep most of our meals as simple, unprocessed, and “whole” as possible so I couldn’t quite bring myself to buy the cheap, nitrate- and preservative-laden breakfast meats sold at most of the grocery stores. After searching the meat departments of Smith’s, Sam’s, Ridley’s, and WalMart, Natural Grocers sounded like a much better option, even if I had to pay a higher price.

And this is where God’s unfathomable care for the simple, day-to-day details of a homemaker’s life come into play. As I checked out at Natural Grocers with a box of marked-down bacon (I go for discount items whenever I can and Alexander had said he preferred the bacon to the marked-down chorizo), I learned that all of the bacon in the store — friends, we’re talking ALL of the bacon — was on sale for $2.99. That’s at least 50% off most of the prices and even cheaper than the bargain price I thought I was paying. And I had no idea that sale was even taking place until I had 1) followed God’s leading to buy a treat for my husband, 2) chosen to pay a little extra for something healthy, and 3) asked my husband if he preferred bacon or sausage. Never could I have orchestrated all that on my own.

Natural Grocers Bacon

(Yes, I went back and grabbed a second one…)

God has shown me time and time again this year that He is my Provider, but sometimes it takes a package of bacon to remind me of just how detail-oriented and caring a Provider He is.

Questions for You!

How has God provided for you this year?

In what ways has God shown you His care and attention to detail?

How do you show your husband gratitude?

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“NO”

There’s truth in the idea that the hardest word to learn to say is “No.” Really, it shouldn’t be that hard, right? Two little letters, but they can literally carry life-altering decisions in their combined voice.

I had to say, “No,” this week. And it wasn’t easy.

If you know me in person, you probably know that I’m a little horse crazy. I grew up riding my sassy three-quarter Arabian mare and I learned to drive draft horses in college. Now that I’m a married “city” girl, opportunities to get my “horse fix” are fairly rare so I’ll jump on just about any chance that comes along.

The other Sunday, one of my writer friends approached me about just such an opportunity. She and her family had recently taken a ride on a replica Conestoga wagon pulled by a team of drafts. In talking to the owner/driver, she learned that he was looking for more drivers because he had some big groups coming soon and he needed more help to man his wagons.  She could give me the driver’s information, if I was interested.

Horses?! Driving?! The Oregon Trail?! Of course I was interested!

The following Wednesday I met the owner for coffee and that evening we went on an overnight training/trial trip. The horses were beautiful and well-mannered. The wagons were authentic. The scenery was gorgeous. The guests were amazing. The owner was a patient teacher and was sure that with, with one more training run, I’d be fully capable of taking a team on my own.

But I wasn’t so sure. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy the trip as much as I thought I would. Small issues repeatedly cropped up, making me uncomfortable. Concerns crawled around in the back of my mind. My own lack of ability and experience daunted me in light of having to be responsible for the lives of a wagon-load of people.

When I finished the trip and came home, I spent probably two or three hours trying to process all of the thoughts and emotions in my mind and heart. I talked with my harness horsemanship instructor from college and I poured out my heart (and tears) to my husband.

Part of me kept saying, “Get it together. You’ll be fine. This is one of your dreams and passions – it’s working with horses – are you really going to turn that down for pity’s sake? Are you just being a wimp? You can learn sooo much from him. Anybody from your draft horse class would have jumped at this opportunity. And he needs help; are you really going to let him down? Really, doesn’t it seem like God just dumped this in your lap? If you back out now, you’re a failure. You’ll disappoint a lot of people – the friends who hooked you up with this job, the horse owner, your draft horse buddies from college, yourself…do you really want that?”

But another part of me kept whispering, “I’m not comfortable with this. Some things didn’t seem safe. I really didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would (should?) and I’m afraid it’s just going to add more stress to my life. The time commitment is way more than I planned on…I think it’s more than I can afford considering how many other commitments I have. And the ability and strength required…to be honest I don’t feel confident in my ability to safely do everything that is required of me, especially if I have several people in the wagon with me! I don’t want to be responsible for their lives when I perceive my skill level as being potentially insufficient.”

Perfectionist, Give-110%, Wanting-to-please-everybody Lauren VS. Cautious, Already-stressed-out, Trying-to-actually-do-what’s-best-for-me-as-well-as-for-those-around-me Lauren

Do you know which side won? The latter. The side that was actually willing to disappoint people, to not be perfect, to back out if doing so was truly the wiser, safer option. I didn’t reach that decision on my own (huge thanks to my husband and my college instructor) or without any tears, but I finally said, “No.”

A part of me still feels hugely guilty, as though I let everybody down, as though I turned down an incredible opportunity because I was too cowardly, as though I’m a failure.

But another part of me is quietly realizing with every passing hour that I made the right decision. That maybe God was simply giving me this opportunity to make me more thankful for the life I do have as a homemaker with my husband, dog, and a quiet house. That maybe this is the safer option not only for the wagon guests but also for myself. That maybe it’s okay to turn down something I love because I love other things just as much if not more.

That maybe it’s a good thing to say, “No.”

New Year, New Update

Dusting off the ol’ blog again! So here’s a quick life update to catch you up on what all has been going on in the Robinson household.

Sun and view of mountains on a run

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Life Lately

Hello, friends!!!

Life has been a little nuts here lately…. I shouldn’t be complaining because I’m honestly very thankful for how God is using Alexander and I in the church, yet I am definitely ready for a little Christmas break. Craft time, here I come! (Meaning, I still have to finish making Christmas presents….oops!)

So here’s a “quick” update on all of the craziness in the Robinson household.

Yes we're crazy

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A Christmas Tree Story

It’s starting to snow outside — a very fine, light, dusty snow. We haven’t had much snow here yet this year, so every little bit we get is a treasure. Fall here in Casper was long and gorgeous, but now the colder temperatures have hit and the weather is getting a little more “Christmassy.”

Zip and I enjoying the first snow

We decorated for Christmas just this last weekend, after Thanksgiving. Friends and family have blessed us with an abundance of Christmas decorations, so our home is quite festive. And God blessed us with a Christmas tree, which is a story worth sharing….

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Weekends in the Wilderness

When Alexander and I first started developing a “more-than-just-friends” relationship, we quickly discovered that we shared a passion for camping and hiking in God’s great outdoors, especially in the Rocky Mountains. As we progressed in our long-distance relationship, many of our days together were spent on some sort of hiking adventure — last May we visited one of his friends and explored near the Tetons, in the summer we meandered amongst wildflowers and camped out for the Needtobreathe concert at Red Rocks in Colorado, that fall I took him up to a lake in the forests near my college, in November he proposed after a short hike in his Michigan woods, and this May our honeymoon road trip to the Oregon coast involved numerous outdoor adventures in all different sorts of country.

Moving into marriage, we hoped that we’d be one of those couples always off on another camping adventure. Our home in Casper, Wyoming, locates us near enough to plenty of mountains for weekend getaways, or so we rationalized. But I don’t know if either of us really thought our grand dream of frequent camping and hiking would ever come true. I was certainly hesitant to think so.

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Off on Another Adventure…

It’s been over a year since I wrote on this blog. Not counting the quick post with the article about my publication, I haven’t posted anything really personal or descriptive or friendly or interesting….

Flowers and running shoes

To be honest, the last year has been a whirlwind. I certainly would have loved to keep up on my blog, but it took a backseat to school, relationships, and life in general. I was working through my fifth and final year of college, seeing a phenomenal young man, being very active with friends on campus, taking care of my new dog, running around Dillon, working on the publication of my book, etc.

And it’s been an absolutely wonderful year in which God has not ceased to amaze me.

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